Journal 5: Our Nights

Let me ask you a question. Which is the period of the day when you feel calm and at rest, with no worries? Well, for me, it without doubt, is when I am lost in the world of slumber and dreams. Whenever I am perturbed or extremely disturbed, I seek solace in the world of dreams. However, the Jews detained at Auschwitz were deprived of even this consolation. Chapter 5 of the book explores adjustment at Auschwitz, and how even their dreams were an experience of dread. Every night, when Levi went to sleep he was haunted by his experience at Auschwitz. The motif of sleep as an experience of peace recurs yet again. In contrast to the Ka-be, where sleep was relatively peaceful, in the Lager, the nightmare seemed to return like a chimera that shattered even the slightest iota of peace and tranquility. This worsened the process of adjusting to life at the Lager, an experience that was far more horrifying than the nightmare, itself.
Human civilization has been a struggle for adaptation and adjustment. I distinctly remember my first days in Korea, when I had to adjust to an alien culture amongst people I did not know. I preferred to stay by myself, and enjoyed supposed “solitary bliss.” On Page 56, Levi says “Man’s capacity to dig himself in, to secrete a shell, to build around himself a tenuous barrier of defence, even in apparently desperate circumstances, is astonishing and merits a serious study.” This particular statement concocts an image of a butterfly weaving a cocoon around itself. Likewise, we humans tend to form a “cocoon” around ourselves to adjust. We consider this delirium of our own little world to be our defence mechanism, thinking that till we venture out of it, we shall be shielded from anything that might hurt us. However, after being discharged from the Ka-be, one was exposed to the harshness of life at Auschwitz, after having being shielded from it temporarily. Even though the detainees at Auschwitz sought solace in the Ka-be, they failed to see how it would increase their pain and suffering. Before going to the Ka-be, they were accustomed to a rigorous life of labor. After a brief rest from this, adjusting to such a drastic change was extremely difficult. The cocoon that we decide to take shelter in was also impossible to form, since life at Auschwitz denied the Jews both, emotions and time to even think of protecting oneself or one’s dignity.